Fired or rescued? - Part III

Ecclesiastes 7:8, 13 –“The end of a matter is better than its beginning; patience is better than pride.” “Observe God’s doing! For who can straighten out what He has twisted.”

I have now been gone from my job for almost three months now. The unkown place that I spoke about in Part II has really kicked in. I absolutley have no idea what I am to do with my life. What is my new normal? All of the old habits and routines that I am so accustomed to doing are slowly being taken away. It's a little scary being in this place. Most people would think that changing something or transitioning to new place would be easy or be done quickly - not true. This is the hardest thing I have had to face and one of the first things in my life I have not run away from. Yahweh again has showed me his perception. According to the world view I was fired - which looks really bad; actually I was removed or sent forth from the world into the Wilderness. The Wilderness is a place of empowerment and a place that Yahweh sends you to. The "unknown" part is two-fold. Yahweh is unkown to me because I don't know him to  his full abundance. I have never relied or waitied on HIM to fully work on my heart. The second part of the unkown is "my own knowledge". I don't know myself or let myself walk in my full potential. I have limited myself and placed so many stumbling blocks for myself that I consider the last 32 years of my life completely normal. Wow, what a revelation.

Has Yahweh blessed, provided, and taken care of me? Yes, of course HE has. The difference is now I see HIS point of view. I see that maybe (out of 100%) I only received 10% of his blessing because I thought everything was fine and I felt good. He is showing me that things are much better at 100% than at 10%. I don’t know how many situations could have been better had I seen Yahweh's perspective instead of my own. I cut him off and didn't let him finish. A difficult situation can occur, so we call on HIS name, and he helps us. In our minds we start to feel better (and think that we are ok) so HE stops - not realizing HE is not done and has more for us. Say for example you have a cold and go to the doctor and the doctor prescribes medicine. The doctors orders always state “finish taking all of the medicine, even if you start to feel better,” – this is so you get the full effects of the medicine. Most people stop on days 3-5, instead of going to day 10. We do the same to Yahweh. We stop praying and reading the word anywhere between 1%-30%; so we don’t get the full effect (or 100%) of the attribute(s) of HIM he is trying to give.

I know that there is more for me on this journey and I have only just begun. I need to pay more attention to what HE is doing, not what has been done. Let's see what the next few weeks have in store and how much more of Yahweh's perspective will be revealed to me.

The Different Stages of Life - Junior Year

Junior Year

Junior year starts in your late 30’s to early 40’s. The beginning stage is 39-44. This is the age category where you have been married before or you have been married for about 10-15 years or more. If you are married either both you and your spouse are working. Or you are a stay at home mom with two to four children. For those of you who are still married, the marriage is going well. It may not be picture perfect, but the two of you have always been able to work it out. You wouldn’t go back to being single for anything. If you are divorced, you have both just gotten divorced within the last 1-3 years; or you are still going through a divorce and it’s not pretty. The worst thing you could do after a fresh divorce is starting dating right away. You are extremely vulnerable. All you see is how the new guy is not like your ex-husband (instead of seeing how they have some similarities). You are trying to adjust to a new life. You may have to start working again. If you are currently working you barely make enough to get by. So after looking at your income and seeing that it’s just not cutting it (regardless if you are receiving child support or not) you decide to go back to school. Since you are trying to show that you are a new woman you may do some things to physically change yourself. Have you heard of the “Mommy Make-over”? This is a cosmetic procedure that gives you the “freshman year” body back. You know the body where you have the flat stomach, perky breasts and can where a bikini. You may spend $8,000 - $10,000, but the pain is worth it. You have everything nipped, cut, sucked and lifted. After all you have had 2-4 children and gravity has taken place. After you obtain this new body, you get a new hair cut and new hair color. You look at your self in the mirror and think “I look 20 again.”

Then you start dressing like your 20 again. You and your teenage daughter go to the junior department of any store and you both start shopping. To your 16 year-old, you are a pretty cool mom, because you can wear the same size clothes. In, reality it’s not cool. Just because you can fit into junior size clothes doesn’t mean you should buy or wear them. After all, who are trying to impress? Your ex definitely doesn’t care (which is why he is your ex and you are his ex), and your kids will only think its cool for so long.

Please don’t be one of those ladies who want to be a cougar. That is foolish. Dating men that are the same age or 3-7 years older than your own children really shows that you are going through a midlife crisis.

Reality starts to set in a few years later which puts you between the ages of 45-56. You start thinking “My kids are grown" (they or may not be out of the house), but the “Mommy Make-Over" you had a few years earlier is not as important. You’re glad that you look good, but shopping in the junior department has lost its appeal. Say you are the mom that was completely happy with herself and had no surgery. At this stage this is first time that you haven’t had your child(ren) live with you. One of your children is possibly in a relationship that may lead to marriage. After all, you want your child(ren) to come you about an important decision like marriage. If your son or daughter is bringing someone home "to meet the parents" – you don’t want either one of them to see you in a pair daisy dukes and a mid-rift shirt – that outfit does not say mature or mother-in-law.

Now you are in the final stages of junior year ages 57-68. Your children are all out of the house you have been dressing as a mature woman for a while. You are completely satisfied with how you look and who you are. All of the superficial things that used to mean something to you when you were younger don’t anymore. You are officially a grandma and are glad to say so. It’s a huge compliment when people say to you “you don’t look old enough to be a grandma.” You are close to retiring and are looking forward to this stage of your life. After all, you have been working for the past 40-50 years and its time for a permanent break. Who knows what you will do with all of this extra time. This phase is a great and exciting way to transition you to senior year.

Fired or rescued? - Part II

Psalms 32:8 - "I will educate you and enlighten you in which the path to go, I will advise you with [what] my eye [has seen]."

"I will educate you and enlighten you.." This part of the scipture means that HE will teach, train, and instruct us with his Holy Spirit. "...in which the path to go..." Path - a narrow walk or way formed by HIM. This path is for me an me only. He doesn't intend for other people (excluding my son) or situations (distractions) to be a part of the path. A path is much easier to walk when there aren't things in the way impeding the way."..I will advise you with [what] my eye [has seen] Advise - HE will counsel me with wisdom (knowledge) and righteous judgment by observing my actions closely.

Part of my transformation and reprogramming is receiving his Holy Spirit and his counsel in ways that I never have before. I am to let him into my heart fully so that the real work can begin. I have been so caught up in being let go from my job, that I have created a stumbling block - the kind that keeps you from moving forward and letting go. I don't have to worry about the staff that I feel I left behind. I need to stop looking behind me. HE wants me to focus on where he has me now. I need remember that HE removed me from my job for a reason.

This place is unknown to me. I have never let HIM guide me the way that HE has always wanted to. This time is different because spiritually I am in a different place. This is much harder than I thought it would be. Am I ready to receive what HE wants me to?

HE's knocking -Why Won't You Answer

Revelations 3:20 says "Behold I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."

How often have your heard HIM knocking. Some days more than others. Why haven't you answered? You know when you aren't doing things the way that you should. Or you are in a situation that you knew was wrong from the get go, yet you entertained the idea and went along with it anyway. Tap, tap, tap - there's the knocking again. You go to the peep hole and lookout but you don't know who's knocking. Day after day you keep on in your situation as if everything is ok. Day 1 everything seems to be fine - but what about day 50 or day 150? Tap, tap, tap - your hear the knocking once again. You conscious tells you "you've looked through the peep hole and no one is there." Why do you keep hearing the knocking? Who's trying to get your attention? The point of the knocking is to draw you away from your situation. One of these days you will look through the peep hole and you will see. See what? What you need to see - what your heart has already been telling you. Open the door and see who is on the other side.

The knocking comes in the midst of your situation. Say you are in a bad relationship and you have been wanting to get out for some time. Tap, tap, tap - the knocking represents the call you need to hear to draw you away from the sitatuation. You open the door - opening the door is allowing HIM to come in and help you out of the situation. HE represents your salvation. Open the door to HIM to save you. If you are sick, then open the door to HIS healing. You opening the door shows two things: 1. that you want to be freed from your situation 2. that you are allowing HIM to do it. HE will be the remedy and comfort that you  have been looking for.

Fired or rescued?

"Yahweh took us out of Egypt with a strong hand and outstretched arm, with great awsomeness, and with signs and wonders." - Deuteronomy 26:8

When was the last time you were rescued? Rescued from what you may ask. For me it was my last job. Things hadn't been great for several months. I just kept waiting and waiting for something different to happen. I thought maybe a new job would be the answer. Turns out, that wasn't it. Tick-tock, tick-tock. Day by day the minutes just keep passing by and I was still stuck in the same place. "Why is this happening to me?" I wondered from time to time. I would try "my" best to make things better, but it never seemed good enough. My son was getting ready to start school (which was delayed by two weeks), so I was excited for that. But I didn't have a plan for after-school care. My dad was picking him up from school everyday for me (which was fantastic), until he wasn't able to do so anymore.

Three days before my son started school, I ended up being let go from my job. What a bummer. Almost 7 years invested in a company and this happens. I felt terrible. I had great staff that I had built a relationship with and now that had all been taken away. Then good ole' "worry and fear" set in. My thoughts are "I am a single mom, how am I going to pay bills such as rent, my car payment, food, phone, etc.?"

Now it's been two weeks since my job ended. I have spent some time with Yahweh (reading and praying) so that I can be shown what to do next. So far this journey has been a huge blessing. My perspective on what happened was all wrong. See it is Yahweh who decides how things are to be in your life. One of the things that I was shown is that HE rescued me, not that I was fired. The definition of rescue is: to free or deliver from confinement, violence, danger or evil.

Right now I am going through the process of being re-programmed, transformed,and converted. Meaning that HE is showing me how I am supposed to think (walk spiritiually). This change will take some time. After all for the past few years my routine has been the same:get up, get my son up, we both get dressed, I drop him off at school and then I go to work. This is what I thought my life was supposed to be until my son went off to college.

Yahweh's transformation in me will cause my character, apperance, and countenance to change. HE wants me to see myself and my role (my daily routine) as HE does. I have gotten used to just assuming that I was supposed to work full time because I am a single mother. Yahweh never told me that. Part of being re-programmed is changing my thought process and my heart. I need to remove all stumbling blocks that I have created which may have limited the work that Yahweh has wanted to do.

One of the changes that I see so far, is that HE has allowed me to be a stay-at-home mom. This has been great. I have never had the opportunity to be at home. This has allowed me to pick up and drop off my son at school. Yahweh is showing me that being at home doesn't mean surf the internet all day, watch soap operas/talk shows, or go out shopping and spend money. "There is work to be done. Not the type that you are used to."

 I wonder, what else is going to change as a part of my transformation?

If God be for us, who can be against us?

I am finding that Romans 8:28-31 is a lot harder to walk out than I thought. Why is that when you choose not to take on the practices of the land (Deuteronomy 18:9), you immediately have contention, strife, and conflict. No one wants to hear about your faith and how you would rather trust and believe in GOD than believe in something man made. Am I being the witness that HE wants me to be? I haven't been as up front with my faith as I would like to be. Part of me wants to walk in and announce "My faith in HIM is what keeps me healthy. HE is perfect and would have no need for anything man made. HIS healing is spiritual and physical. Man made "cures" just "band aid" the symptom(s) - it doesn't heal the problem." Disobedience is what makes people sick and have ailments whether it is something that is generational or something that you personally came into agreement with that is not of HIM. This has been truly one of the hardest tests I have faced. My initial thought is to leave and run away. What is that going to prove? If I am going to be a witness to everyone around me, then I have to stay. HE has put me here for a reason. This is a lesson for me as well as whomever I am to affect. Stay strong and be diligent. There are more people who agree with my perspective than I know. They just feel threatened by those who set down the rules. How is HE using me? What is my role in this situation? I can honestly say, "I don’t know". I have never taken the time to ask. I have spent more time complaining and taking it personally (feeling attacked) and having the poor me syndrome. I need to remember that HE is in charge. HE has allowed this to happen. This is not about me (well, not in the way that I thought). HE tests us to see how we will rely on HIM to get us through. My faith is stronger and bigger than I know - I just have to know in my heart how strong it is. Matthew 26:41 states "Watch and pray that ye not enter into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Wow, does this scripture apply to me. Temptation is not always something lustful. Temptation can be your anger flaring, constant complaining, or just allowing your emotions to go outside of what HE wants you do and think. Seeing someone and having the attitude "She never does any work" or "He always gets his way" is allowing those negative emotions to stay stirred up. This is exactly what the enemy wants. All the enemy wants is for you to take your eyes off of HIM.  Ha Satan also knows and can see when HE is going to test you. How do I take control of my emotions and not let people or situations get to me? Being in constant prayer. Keeping your mind and your heart focused on the LORD will help you. The Lord could have you in a situation for one day or for 10 years. You have to be diligent and walk it out no matter how long you have to be there. I have also realized that the people around me don't understand my faith - even if they are believers. You can tell anyone that you believe in HIM or that you are a Christian. But what does that really mean? There are different levels of believing. I have to stay true to what I feel HE wants me to do (Deuteronomy 5:32). It may seem like I am doing the hardest thing possible instead of taking the easy way out. 

Be still. Stay quiet I AM here with you.

Have you ever been in a situation and in your mind you are wondering, "Where did this come from?" Or the most common reaction, "Why me?" Most of the time its the Holy Spirit in you fighting with the darkness inside of someone else. HIS word states that he will put us through situations as a test - a test to see how close we are to HIM and how much we will rely on HIM. Sometimes we see the situation head on. There are other times when we are caught off guard, or taken by suprise. What do you do? How do you handle yourself? Most of the time we take the attack personally. This is exactly what the enemy wants - he wants you to doubt, have fear, or stir up bitter emotions about that person or situation. That is never what HE wants. HIS word says over and over again "Fear not for I AM with you." (Isiah 41:10). In an instant just remembering that scipture should bring you peace. A peace that can make you smile and be silent. HE will give us what we need to handle that person or situation.

Keeping the anger or bitterness in your heart will lead to other downfall's in your life. Basically you end up taking on that persons or that situatuions darkness. Light and darkness can not dwell together. Which would you rather be full of? You are only broken if you let someone or something break you. Who would you rather be broken by? HIM or someone or something that you are not supposed to fear in the first place.

Romans 8:28-31 states "If GOD before us who can be against us." Jesus was quiet when he was questioned before his crucufiction because he knew who was with him.