Ecclesiastes 7:8, 13 –“The end of a matter is better than its beginning; patience is better than pride.” “Observe God’s doing! For who can straighten out what He has twisted.”
I have now been gone from my job for almost three months now. The unkown place that I spoke about in Part II has really kicked in. I absolutley have no idea what I am to do with my life. What is my new normal? All of the old habits and routines that I am so accustomed to doing are slowly being taken away. It's a little scary being in this place. Most people would think that changing something or transitioning to new place would be easy or be done quickly - not true. This is the hardest thing I have had to face and one of the first things in my life I have not run away from. Yahweh again has showed me his perception. According to the world view I was fired - which looks really bad; actually I was removed or sent forth from the world into the Wilderness. The Wilderness is a place of empowerment and a place that Yahweh sends you to. The "unknown" part is two-fold. Yahweh is unkown to me because I don't know him to his full abundance. I have never relied or waitied on HIM to fully work on my heart. The second part of the unkown is "my own knowledge". I don't know myself or let myself walk in my full potential. I have limited myself and placed so many stumbling blocks for myself that I consider the last 32 years of my life completely normal. Wow, what a revelation.
Has Yahweh blessed, provided, and taken care of me? Yes, of course HE has. The difference is now I see HIS point of view. I see that maybe (out of 100%) I only received 10% of his blessing because I thought everything was fine and I felt good. He is showing me that things are much better at 100% than at 10%. I don’t know how many situations could have been better had I seen Yahweh's perspective instead of my own. I cut him off and didn't let him finish. A difficult situation can occur, so we call on HIS name, and he helps us. In our minds we start to feel better (and think that we are ok) so HE stops - not realizing HE is not done and has more for us. Say for example you have a cold and go to the doctor and the doctor prescribes medicine. The doctors orders always state “finish taking all of the medicine, even if you start to feel better,” – this is so you get the full effects of the medicine. Most people stop on days 3-5, instead of going to day 10. We do the same to Yahweh. We stop praying and reading the word anywhere between 1%-30%; so we don’t get the full effect (or 100%) of the attribute(s) of HIM he is trying to give.
I know that there is more for me on this journey and I have only just begun. I need to pay more attention to what HE is doing, not what has been done. Let's see what the next few weeks have in store and how much more of Yahweh's perspective will be revealed to me.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
The Different Stages of Life - Junior Year
Junior Year
Junior year starts in your late 30’s to early 40’s. The beginning stage is 39-44. This is the age category where you have been married before or you have been married for about 10-15 years or more. If you are married either both you and your spouse are working. Or you are a stay at home mom with two to four children. For those of you who are still married, the marriage is going well. It may not be picture perfect, but the two of you have always been able to work it out. You wouldn’t go back to being single for anything. If you are divorced, you have both just gotten divorced within the last 1-3 years; or you are still going through a divorce and it’s not pretty. The worst thing you could do after a fresh divorce is starting dating right away. You are extremely vulnerable. All you see is how the new guy is not like your ex-husband (instead of seeing how they have some similarities). You are trying to adjust to a new life. You may have to start working again. If you are currently working you barely make enough to get by. So after looking at your income and seeing that it’s just not cutting it (regardless if you are receiving child support or not) you decide to go back to school. Since you are trying to show that you are a new woman you may do some things to physically change yourself. Have you heard of the “Mommy Make-over”? This is a cosmetic procedure that gives you the “freshman year” body back. You know the body where you have the flat stomach, perky breasts and can where a bikini. You may spend $8,000 - $10,000, but the pain is worth it. You have everything nipped, cut, sucked and lifted. After all you have had 2-4 children and gravity has taken place. After you obtain this new body, you get a new hair cut and new hair color. You look at your self in the mirror and think “I look 20 again.”
Then you start dressing like your 20 again. You and your teenage daughter go to the junior department of any store and you both start shopping. To your 16 year-old, you are a pretty cool mom, because you can wear the same size clothes. In, reality it’s not cool. Just because you can fit into junior size clothes doesn’t mean you should buy or wear them. After all, who are trying to impress? Your ex definitely doesn’t care (which is why he is your ex and you are his ex), and your kids will only think its cool for so long.
Please don’t be one of those ladies who want to be a cougar. That is foolish. Dating men that are the same age or 3-7 years older than your own children really shows that you are going through a midlife crisis.
Reality starts to set in a few years later which puts you between the ages of 45-56. You start thinking “My kids are grown" (they or may not be out of the house), but the “Mommy Make-Over" you had a few years earlier is not as important. You’re glad that you look good, but shopping in the junior department has lost its appeal. Say you are the mom that was completely happy with herself and had no surgery. At this stage this is first time that you haven’t had your child(ren) live with you. One of your children is possibly in a relationship that may lead to marriage. After all, you want your child(ren) to come you about an important decision like marriage. If your son or daughter is bringing someone home "to meet the parents" – you don’t want either one of them to see you in a pair daisy dukes and a mid-rift shirt – that outfit does not say mature or mother-in-law.
Now you are in the final stages of junior year ages 57-68. Your children are all out of the house you have been dressing as a mature woman for a while. You are completely satisfied with how you look and who you are. All of the superficial things that used to mean something to you when you were younger don’t anymore. You are officially a grandma and are glad to say so. It’s a huge compliment when people say to you “you don’t look old enough to be a grandma.” You are close to retiring and are looking forward to this stage of your life. After all, you have been working for the past 40-50 years and its time for a permanent break. Who knows what you will do with all of this extra time. This phase is a great and exciting way to transition you to senior year.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Fired or rescued? - Part II
Psalms 32:8 - "I will educate you and enlighten you in which the path to go, I will advise you with [what] my eye [has seen]."
"I will educate you and enlighten you.." This part of the scipture means that HE will teach, train, and instruct us with his Holy Spirit. "...in which the path to go..." Path - a narrow walk or way formed by HIM. This path is for me an me only. He doesn't intend for other people (excluding my son) or situations (distractions) to be a part of the path. A path is much easier to walk when there aren't things in the way impeding the way."..I will advise you with [what] my eye [has seen] Advise - HE will counsel me with wisdom (knowledge) and righteous judgment by observing my actions closely.
Part of my transformation and reprogramming is receiving his Holy Spirit and his counsel in ways that I never have before. I am to let him into my heart fully so that the real work can begin. I have been so caught up in being let go from my job, that I have created a stumbling block - the kind that keeps you from moving forward and letting go. I don't have to worry about the staff that I feel I left behind. I need to stop looking behind me. HE wants me to focus on where he has me now. I need remember that HE removed me from my job for a reason.
This place is unknown to me. I have never let HIM guide me the way that HE has always wanted to. This time is different because spiritually I am in a different place. This is much harder than I thought it would be. Am I ready to receive what HE wants me to?
"I will educate you and enlighten you.." This part of the scipture means that HE will teach, train, and instruct us with his Holy Spirit. "...in which the path to go..." Path - a narrow walk or way formed by HIM. This path is for me an me only. He doesn't intend for other people (excluding my son) or situations (distractions) to be a part of the path. A path is much easier to walk when there aren't things in the way impeding the way."..I will advise you with [what] my eye [has seen] Advise - HE will counsel me with wisdom (knowledge) and righteous judgment by observing my actions closely.
Part of my transformation and reprogramming is receiving his Holy Spirit and his counsel in ways that I never have before. I am to let him into my heart fully so that the real work can begin. I have been so caught up in being let go from my job, that I have created a stumbling block - the kind that keeps you from moving forward and letting go. I don't have to worry about the staff that I feel I left behind. I need to stop looking behind me. HE wants me to focus on where he has me now. I need remember that HE removed me from my job for a reason.
This place is unknown to me. I have never let HIM guide me the way that HE has always wanted to. This time is different because spiritually I am in a different place. This is much harder than I thought it would be. Am I ready to receive what HE wants me to?
Monday, September 19, 2011
HE's knocking -Why Won't You Answer
Revelations 3:20 says "Behold I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."
How often have your heard HIM knocking. Some days more than others. Why haven't you answered? You know when you aren't doing things the way that you should. Or you are in a situation that you knew was wrong from the get go, yet you entertained the idea and went along with it anyway. Tap, tap, tap - there's the knocking again. You go to the peep hole and lookout but you don't know who's knocking. Day after day you keep on in your situation as if everything is ok. Day 1 everything seems to be fine - but what about day 50 or day 150? Tap, tap, tap - your hear the knocking once again. You conscious tells you "you've looked through the peep hole and no one is there." Why do you keep hearing the knocking? Who's trying to get your attention? The point of the knocking is to draw you away from your situation. One of these days you will look through the peep hole and you will see. See what? What you need to see - what your heart has already been telling you. Open the door and see who is on the other side.
The knocking comes in the midst of your situation. Say you are in a bad relationship and you have been wanting to get out for some time. Tap, tap, tap - the knocking represents the call you need to hear to draw you away from the sitatuation. You open the door - opening the door is allowing HIM to come in and help you out of the situation. HE represents your salvation. Open the door to HIM to save you. If you are sick, then open the door to HIS healing. You opening the door shows two things: 1. that you want to be freed from your situation 2. that you are allowing HIM to do it. HE will be the remedy and comfort that you have been looking for.
How often have your heard HIM knocking. Some days more than others. Why haven't you answered? You know when you aren't doing things the way that you should. Or you are in a situation that you knew was wrong from the get go, yet you entertained the idea and went along with it anyway. Tap, tap, tap - there's the knocking again. You go to the peep hole and lookout but you don't know who's knocking. Day after day you keep on in your situation as if everything is ok. Day 1 everything seems to be fine - but what about day 50 or day 150? Tap, tap, tap - your hear the knocking once again. You conscious tells you "you've looked through the peep hole and no one is there." Why do you keep hearing the knocking? Who's trying to get your attention? The point of the knocking is to draw you away from your situation. One of these days you will look through the peep hole and you will see. See what? What you need to see - what your heart has already been telling you. Open the door and see who is on the other side.
The knocking comes in the midst of your situation. Say you are in a bad relationship and you have been wanting to get out for some time. Tap, tap, tap - the knocking represents the call you need to hear to draw you away from the sitatuation. You open the door - opening the door is allowing HIM to come in and help you out of the situation. HE represents your salvation. Open the door to HIM to save you. If you are sick, then open the door to HIS healing. You opening the door shows two things: 1. that you want to be freed from your situation 2. that you are allowing HIM to do it. HE will be the remedy and comfort that you have been looking for.
Fired or rescued?
"Yahweh took us out of Egypt with a strong hand and outstretched arm, with great awsomeness, and with signs and wonders." - Deuteronomy 26:8
When was the last time you were rescued? Rescued from what you may ask. For me it was my last job. Things hadn't been great for several months. I just kept waiting and waiting for something different to happen. I thought maybe a new job would be the answer. Turns out, that wasn't it. Tick-tock, tick-tock. Day by day the minutes just keep passing by and I was still stuck in the same place. "Why is this happening to me?" I wondered from time to time. I would try "my" best to make things better, but it never seemed good enough. My son was getting ready to start school (which was delayed by two weeks), so I was excited for that. But I didn't have a plan for after-school care. My dad was picking him up from school everyday for me (which was fantastic), until he wasn't able to do so anymore.
Three days before my son started school, I ended up being let go from my job. What a bummer. Almost 7 years invested in a company and this happens. I felt terrible. I had great staff that I had built a relationship with and now that had all been taken away. Then good ole' "worry and fear" set in. My thoughts are "I am a single mom, how am I going to pay bills such as rent, my car payment, food, phone, etc.?"
Now it's been two weeks since my job ended. I have spent some time with Yahweh (reading and praying) so that I can be shown what to do next. So far this journey has been a huge blessing. My perspective on what happened was all wrong. See it is Yahweh who decides how things are to be in your life. One of the things that I was shown is that HE rescued me, not that I was fired. The definition of rescue is: to free or deliver from confinement, violence, danger or evil.
Right now I am going through the process of being re-programmed, transformed,and converted. Meaning that HE is showing me how I am supposed to think (walk spiritiually). This change will take some time. After all for the past few years my routine has been the same:get up, get my son up, we both get dressed, I drop him off at school and then I go to work. This is what I thought my life was supposed to be until my son went off to college.
Yahweh's transformation in me will cause my character, apperance, and countenance to change. HE wants me to see myself and my role (my daily routine) as HE does. I have gotten used to just assuming that I was supposed to work full time because I am a single mother. Yahweh never told me that. Part of being re-programmed is changing my thought process and my heart. I need to remove all stumbling blocks that I have created which may have limited the work that Yahweh has wanted to do.
One of the changes that I see so far, is that HE has allowed me to be a stay-at-home mom. This has been great. I have never had the opportunity to be at home. This has allowed me to pick up and drop off my son at school. Yahweh is showing me that being at home doesn't mean surf the internet all day, watch soap operas/talk shows, or go out shopping and spend money. "There is work to be done. Not the type that you are used to."
I wonder, what else is going to change as a part of my transformation?
When was the last time you were rescued? Rescued from what you may ask. For me it was my last job. Things hadn't been great for several months. I just kept waiting and waiting for something different to happen. I thought maybe a new job would be the answer. Turns out, that wasn't it. Tick-tock, tick-tock. Day by day the minutes just keep passing by and I was still stuck in the same place. "Why is this happening to me?" I wondered from time to time. I would try "my" best to make things better, but it never seemed good enough. My son was getting ready to start school (which was delayed by two weeks), so I was excited for that. But I didn't have a plan for after-school care. My dad was picking him up from school everyday for me (which was fantastic), until he wasn't able to do so anymore.
Three days before my son started school, I ended up being let go from my job. What a bummer. Almost 7 years invested in a company and this happens. I felt terrible. I had great staff that I had built a relationship with and now that had all been taken away. Then good ole' "worry and fear" set in. My thoughts are "I am a single mom, how am I going to pay bills such as rent, my car payment, food, phone, etc.?"
Now it's been two weeks since my job ended. I have spent some time with Yahweh (reading and praying) so that I can be shown what to do next. So far this journey has been a huge blessing. My perspective on what happened was all wrong. See it is Yahweh who decides how things are to be in your life. One of the things that I was shown is that HE rescued me, not that I was fired. The definition of rescue is: to free or deliver from confinement, violence, danger or evil.
Right now I am going through the process of being re-programmed, transformed,and converted. Meaning that HE is showing me how I am supposed to think (walk spiritiually). This change will take some time. After all for the past few years my routine has been the same:get up, get my son up, we both get dressed, I drop him off at school and then I go to work. This is what I thought my life was supposed to be until my son went off to college.
Yahweh's transformation in me will cause my character, apperance, and countenance to change. HE wants me to see myself and my role (my daily routine) as HE does. I have gotten used to just assuming that I was supposed to work full time because I am a single mother. Yahweh never told me that. Part of being re-programmed is changing my thought process and my heart. I need to remove all stumbling blocks that I have created which may have limited the work that Yahweh has wanted to do.
One of the changes that I see so far, is that HE has allowed me to be a stay-at-home mom. This has been great. I have never had the opportunity to be at home. This has allowed me to pick up and drop off my son at school. Yahweh is showing me that being at home doesn't mean surf the internet all day, watch soap operas/talk shows, or go out shopping and spend money. "There is work to be done. Not the type that you are used to."
I wonder, what else is going to change as a part of my transformation?
Friday, November 12, 2010
If God be for us, who can be against us?
I am finding that Romans 8:28-31 is a lot harder to walk out than I thought. Why is that when you choose not to take on the practices of the land (Deuteronomy 18:9), you immediately have contention, strife, and conflict. No one wants to hear about your faith and how you would rather trust and believe in GOD than believe in something man made. Am I being the witness that HE wants me to be? I haven't been as up front with my faith as I would like to be. Part of me wants to walk in and announce "My faith in HIM is what keeps me healthy. HE is perfect and would have no need for anything man made. HIS healing is spiritual and physical. Man made "cures" just "band aid" the symptom(s) - it doesn't heal the problem." Disobedience is what makes people sick and have ailments whether it is something that is generational or something that you personally came into agreement with that is not of HIM. This has been truly one of the hardest tests I have faced. My initial thought is to leave and run away. What is that going to prove? If I am going to be a witness to everyone around me, then I have to stay. HE has put me here for a reason. This is a lesson for me as well as whomever I am to affect. Stay strong and be diligent. There are more people who agree with my perspective than I know. They just feel threatened by those who set down the rules. How is HE using me? What is my role in this situation? I can honestly say, "I don’t know". I have never taken the time to ask. I have spent more time complaining and taking it personally (feeling attacked) and having the poor me syndrome. I need to remember that HE is in charge. HE has allowed this to happen. This is not about me (well, not in the way that I thought). HE tests us to see how we will rely on HIM to get us through. My faith is stronger and bigger than I know - I just have to know in my heart how strong it is. Matthew 26:41 states "Watch and pray that ye not enter into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Wow, does this scripture apply to me. Temptation is not always something lustful. Temptation can be your anger flaring, constant complaining, or just allowing your emotions to go outside of what HE wants you do and think. Seeing someone and having the attitude "She never does any work" or "He always gets his way" is allowing those negative emotions to stay stirred up. This is exactly what the enemy wants. All the enemy wants is for you to take your eyes off of HIM. Ha Satan also knows and can see when HE is going to test you. How do I take control of my emotions and not let people or situations get to me? Being in constant prayer. Keeping your mind and your heart focused on the LORD will help you. The Lord could have you in a situation for one day or for 10 years. You have to be diligent and walk it out no matter how long you have to be there. I have also realized that the people around me don't understand my faith - even if they are believers. You can tell anyone that you believe in HIM or that you are a Christian. But what does that really mean? There are different levels of believing. I have to stay true to what I feel HE wants me to do (Deuteronomy 5:32). It may seem like I am doing the hardest thing possible instead of taking the easy way out.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Be still. Stay quiet I AM here with you.
Have you ever been in a situation and in your mind you are wondering, "Where did this come from?" Or the most common reaction, "Why me?" Most of the time its the Holy Spirit in you fighting with the darkness inside of someone else. HIS word states that he will put us through situations as a test - a test to see how close we are to HIM and how much we will rely on HIM. Sometimes we see the situation head on. There are other times when we are caught off guard, or taken by suprise. What do you do? How do you handle yourself? Most of the time we take the attack personally. This is exactly what the enemy wants - he wants you to doubt, have fear, or stir up bitter emotions about that person or situation. That is never what HE wants. HIS word says over and over again "Fear not for I AM with you." (Isiah 41:10). In an instant just remembering that scipture should bring you peace. A peace that can make you smile and be silent. HE will give us what we need to handle that person or situation.
Keeping the anger or bitterness in your heart will lead to other downfall's in your life. Basically you end up taking on that persons or that situatuions darkness. Light and darkness can not dwell together. Which would you rather be full of? You are only broken if you let someone or something break you. Who would you rather be broken by? HIM or someone or something that you are not supposed to fear in the first place.
Romans 8:28-31 states "If GOD before us who can be against us." Jesus was quiet when he was questioned before his crucufiction because he knew who was with him.
Keeping the anger or bitterness in your heart will lead to other downfall's in your life. Basically you end up taking on that persons or that situatuions darkness. Light and darkness can not dwell together. Which would you rather be full of? You are only broken if you let someone or something break you. Who would you rather be broken by? HIM or someone or something that you are not supposed to fear in the first place.
Romans 8:28-31 states "If GOD before us who can be against us." Jesus was quiet when he was questioned before his crucufiction because he knew who was with him.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Going Back to the Garden
Romans 3:23 states "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of GOD". How big is short? How far have we really fallen? Genesis 3:9-10 states "And the Lord GOD called unto Adam, and said unto him, "Where are thou?" And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself." Adam and Eve are the only two human beings who truly know what it looks like and what it feels like to be naked. They saw in an instant how big short is - or how far we have truly fallen. According to dictionary.com the definitions of naked are: being without clothing or covering; without the customary covering, container, or protection; defenseless; unprotected; exposed; exposed to view or plainly revealed.
When Adam and Eve fell, they dropped suddenly to a lower position and they lost a level of covering and protection which left them exposed and plainly revealed. This is why in Genesis 3:10 Adam states that he was afraid.
How do we get back to the garden? 2010 is a long way from the garden both chronologically and spiritually. One of the first things we can do to find our way back, is to ask HIM where to start. We all have a path that HE wants us to walk. The path leads back to the garden. The reason it leads back to the garden is because the garden's name wasEden Eden
What was in garden that is not here now? When I think of paradise, I think of a place where everything is peaceful and tranquil. There is no pain and suffering. The word "work" doesn't have the same meaning that is has now. As an unmarried woman what is my "job" supposed to be. Our job is being prepared (Matthew 25:1-13). The five virgins that had their lamps ready to go showed physically what they represented spiritually. They had light or the WORD so the bridegroom could see that they were different. They didn't blend in with everyone else. They were set apart. The five virgins who didn't have the oil to light their lamps represented the world. They were unprepared. They were not focused on their "work" in the way they should've been. This is why they wanted the oil of the five virgins who were prepared. They wanted both worlds. When you are preparing for what YHVH has for you, you have to give up the world. You can't dance between two opinions (1 Kings 18:21).
There is only one way to get back to the garden (John 14:6). This will be a life changing decision. Your heart will change in ways you never thought were possible.
When Adam and Eve fell, they dropped suddenly to a lower position and they lost a level of covering and protection which left them exposed and plainly revealed. This is why in Genesis 3:10 Adam states that he was afraid.
How do we get back to the garden? 2010 is a long way from the garden both chronologically and spiritually. One of the first things we can do to find our way back, is to ask HIM where to start. We all have a path that HE wants us to walk. The path leads back to the garden. The reason it leads back to the garden is because the garden's name was
What was in garden that is not here now? When I think of paradise, I think of a place where everything is peaceful and tranquil. There is no pain and suffering. The word "work" doesn't have the same meaning that is has now. As an unmarried woman what is my "job" supposed to be. Our job is being prepared (Matthew 25:1-13). The five virgins that had their lamps ready to go showed physically what they represented spiritually. They had light or the WORD so the bridegroom could see that they were different. They didn't blend in with everyone else. They were set apart. The five virgins who didn't have the oil to light their lamps represented the world. They were unprepared. They were not focused on their "work" in the way they should've been. This is why they wanted the oil of the five virgins who were prepared. They wanted both worlds. When you are preparing for what YHVH has for you, you have to give up the world. You can't dance between two opinions (1 Kings 18:21).
There is only one way to get back to the garden (John 14:6). This will be a life changing decision. Your heart will change in ways you never thought were possible.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The Different Stages of Life - Sophomore Year
Sophomore Year
Between the ages of 23-27 things change. This is officially your sophomore year. The club scene just doesn’t mean what it used to (or anything at all). You actually would like to meet a nice young man that would like to spend real quality time with you – not just sleep with you. You are ready for things to be different. You may still be dating the guy you met in college and would like to marry him – but he still doesn’t seem quite ready to marry you. In some cases this may be your husband. In other cases, its time to let him go. You need to find out who you are outside of him because everything that you have done up to this point has revolved around him. You see the clothes you wear as being ok not great. After all you bought these clothes when you were sixteen and they still fit. You can wear them another 2-3 years. Guys still view you the same way. At this age you view men differently which is the only change. Sophomore year also starts the process of weeding out or changing habits that you started in your freshman year. Your parents actually make sense. They know and understand more than you ever thought. You actually call them for advice instead of making mistake after mistake.
Towards the middle of your sophomore year which is the ages of 28-34 you want bigger and better things. It’s more than just a want; you actually go after it and get it. You are more determined at this age to live like your 30. The things that you bought ten years ago when you finally got your first real job is just not cutting it; and those things are falling apart and wearing out so you have to replace them anyways. Instead of furnishing your entire apartment with Target items – you only go there to buy certain things: socks, toilet paper, paper towels, DVD’s, etc.
The clothes you wear definitely change. You are trying to find a husband so looking like you just walked out of Forever 21 is not the look you are going for. The word “lady” actually means something to you. You view men differently mostly because you have been burned before so there are certain things you will absolutely not put up with. Your tolerance for nonsense and drama certainly is a bit higher – meaning you actually have a standard. Your biological clock starts ticking in this category. Marriage, kids, a house are things that you think about more often. A good percentage of your friends are married and have kids; you are just waiting for your turn. Clubs and bars – what are those? Why would I go to a place where half the people there have just turned 21 and the other half have fakes and snuck in. By the way your early 30’s is cleaning up the mess you made in your 20’s. Hopefully it won’t take the entire decade. You start thinking past the moment you are in. You realize there are consequences to your actions that can affect more than just yourself.
The end of sophomore year are ages 35-38. By this time you have met a really wonderful man. Not just anyone, your husband. Your "gut" tells you, "he is not like anyone else". You could have met Mr. Right in the 30-34 age range as well. The following still applies. This is mostly because you see the heart of the man and not just his six-pack stomach, his car, etc. You are guarded and cautious. You ask questions instead of sleeping with him by the 2nd or 3rd date. This is the age where men actually see you. They don't just see "she's hot." Don't get me wrong they see your body and how you look, but they want a relationship that's more fulfilling, so they work harder and try to get to know you. They actually are tired of the club seen and hopping from woman to woman. Their heart changes. Something tells them "don't let this one get away." As mind blowing as this sounds, that thought has never crossed their mind before. Everything is going great and you are ready for a ring. Don't pressure him. Let him propose when he is ready. You will know if he is the type of man that wants to get married (that conversation should've happened on the first or second date). Have realistic expectations of the relationship. Do not try to change him to suit you or your lifestyle. Don't rush out and get into a relationship just because you see all of your friends have gotten married. You will end up settling and the consequences of that are much farther reaching than you know. Learn the difference between submission and compromise - they are very different. Be patient with the transitional phases of your life. You will get there. Not to cut it short, there are many lessons to learn in sophomore year. Junior year is just around the corner and maybe harder than your 30’s. How will being in my 40's be any different than my 30's? Just wait and see..........
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Different Stages of Life - Freshman Year
Do you women of today know how to be ladies? The definition of a lady according to dictionary.com is:
"a women who is refined, polite and well-spoken"
"a women who is refined, polite and well-spoken"
Freshman Year
Young ladies ages 12-17. At this age you are a freshman. You are young and think you know it all. This is the age where you where the short-shorts, mid-drift shirts and what ever else you can buy in the junior department at any store. You think you look so good. You can spend $20-$30 dollars and get outfits (not just one!) makeup, and perfume. This age is one of the most critical. This age can be influenced the most by the next age category 18-22. At this age the word “lady” definitely has no meaning. You are just happy to be able to go out with your friends and have a good time. If a boy finds you attractive, you are just so giddy you really don’t even realize how you look and he doesn’t either. This is the age where your parents can’t possibly know or understand you and have absolutely no idea of what you are going through. Ask them for advice – yeah right that’s never going to happen.
Then you progress to age group 18-22. Legally you are officially an adult. If you are 21 then you can drink legally without getting into trouble. You think you are invinsible. You have no idea that your actions, can cause health issues (or any other type of issue) later in life (junior year). This age is still like 12-17 – you still dress the same you just hang out in more “adult” places. Going to the club is most of your weekend plans. You go out during the week and come home at and still get up by to go to work. Guys still hit on you the same way and you are still just as clueless as you were at 12-17. Being a lady still does not mean anything. The real difference at this age is you may be in college, or be moved into your first apartment. Basically you don’t have your parents breathing down your back making sure that you clean your room and that you’re home before curfew. You have your first “real” adult relationship ("you la him" and you've never been so sure about anything in your life) – you know when you date a guy that is just as immature as you, but is 5-8 years older than you are. You think you are in love and that he is the one. He tells you that are beautiful and that you are the only one for him – until you find out he is seeing some one else. The entire time the other woman has been there, you were too foolish to listen to your gut feeling. Or he proposes to you and you accept, but you have no idea who you are and what marriage is. You are just so excited to buy a pretty white dress. This is also the age where you are either still dating the same guy you dated in high school or you met a new guy in college who helps you to get over the ex-high school boyfriend and you stay with the new boyfriend until you are 25-27. Freshman year is also the time in your life when you do to much for him. This means that you put up with more than you should because you think you are "helping" him. Anytime a 27-32 year old man dates a 18-22 year old woman - that is a clear sign that he is not willing to try. He may think that you are nice and pretty but that is it. He is with you because you are easy. Easy game. At this age you will put no demands on him and he knows it. This type of relationship happens more often than it should. In very, very few cases the relationships actually do work out. Don't worry ladies, sophomore year is better - just wait and see!
Talking to Your Parents
Boy is it hard being a young lady (or a young person in general) in today's society. There are so many different things coming at you from all areas. Your parents, friends, teachers, T.V., etc. Who is right? Most people would say listen to your parents. But what if your parents are doing things or acting in a way that is completely inappropriate? Then who do you turn to? Young women are supposed to learn how to act like a lady from their mother. Don't get me wrong, their fathers have just as much of a strong presence in their life too, but what they learn from their fathers is different. This message today is geared to the beginners of woman hood; ages 12-18. First things first - you have to talk to your parents. I know at this age your parents couldn't possibly know or understand you. Trust me, they do. Remember they were you age once. Maybe they grew up in another town or faced different situations, but they still viewed what ever their situation was (at that time) the same way you view your situation now. There was still peer pressure in their day - that hasn't changed. I will say that young people now days are faced with more challenges than in past generations.
Talikng with your Parents
How do you talk with your parents openly? Do you have parents that you can be open with? If your answer is "no" to the second question then, there are alot of things that need to happen so that both sides can effectively communicate. If you answered "yes" to the second question, then you have it easier then those who answered "no".
Those who answered "no" will need to answer one very important question. Why do you feel that have parents that you can not talk to? There are probably a variety of answers that will come from answering this question.
For those who answered "yes", let's start with how you think you should bring up the situation. One of the easiest ways is to make sure that your parents have your undivided attention. No distractions such as the T.V., cell (yes this means absolutely no texting) or house phone, computer, and, other people. Also, try to catch your parents when they have had a moment to relax.You know the best time to approach them. Don't ask them to talk when they are walking out of the door going to work; or right when they get home from work or running errands. They could have sat in rush hour traffic for two hours and had a long day. Simply state "Dad & Mom, I know just got home from work, but when you have a second I would like to talk to you." Or, "After dinner could we sit down and talk for a moment, I have some things I need to talk about." Their first instinct and question for you will be, "Is everything ok?" When addressing your parents give good eye contact. This shows that you are serious without being disrespectful and, that you are not ashamed about what you are about to tell them. Being respectful is very important - remember they are your parents and not one of your friends.
Parents
So far I have only spoken about your actions and how you should handle yourself. Parents have a responsibility in the speaking with you too. First you as the parent should be open to talk to your children about everything. If you as the parent have a child or children that you feel that you can not talk to, then there are a lot of things there that need to be addressed. Here are some questions that you may have to ask yourself:
1. At what point did you feel you lost the ability to effectively speak to your children?
2. What is your daily schedule like? Are you working many hours for various reasons? Do you make other people or things a priority in your life other than your children?
3. Have your children been prodigal? Have been giving your children correct guidance time and time again and at this point you are tired of talking?
4. Have you made any big changes in your life without discussing it with your children? I know that this question has a fine line.
5. Are you trying to be a parent or a friend to your children? Remember they attend a school full of their friends. When they come home they need to know that you are still Dad and Mom.
Communication is vital to the growth and proper development of your children. If we want our daughters to grow into young ladies then we need to know what they think and why. As a parent who do we turn to when we don't know how to help our children? The answer to this is the Lord through prayer. You might say "Here we go again. Someone who is preaching to me about the Lord." That is absolutely correct. Having a relationship with HIM is the best thing we can do for ourselves and for our children. The Lord allowed you to have your children for a reason. Proverbs 22:6 states "Train the youth according to is way; even when he grows old, he will not swerve from it." It is a blessing that we are able to have our children. It is our job to show HIM that we appreciate that blessing by guiding and directing our children properly. It 's not always easy and it takes time. Kids go through changes and attitude adjustments and what ever life throws their way. Here is the best picture I can paint for you. Imagine a baseball game. The pitcher on the mound is called life. He has the ball and is throwing fast balls, curve balls and whatever other balls he can throw at whatever speed directly toward you as the parent and at your children. The batter is your children. They are always up to bat. Waiting for those balls to be thrown, not knowing what those balls will be. Parents we are the catcher. We are right there behind them catching whatever life throws at them. That is our job no matter how old our children get. The referee standing right next us the entire time, is the Lord. HE is there to see it all. And he will always make the proper call (or judgment; good or bad). Pray with your children and encourage them to pray. They may not want to at first, but the more you pray the more they will pray. Your children will do what they see you do. That is why it is extremely important how you act and the things you say.
Getting back to the main idea
Young ladies I haven't forgotten about you. I just wanted to shed some light of some of the things your parents should be doing that will help you to communicate with them and for them to communicate with you. You should also have a prayer life. The Lord will show you anything you need to see. Remember HE is all knowing and you were created in HIS image. HE knows what you need.
Hopefully this gives you a good foundation of where to start. This maybe easier said then done. Your parents love you and want the best for you.
Talikng with your Parents
How do you talk with your parents openly? Do you have parents that you can be open with? If your answer is "no" to the second question then, there are alot of things that need to happen so that both sides can effectively communicate. If you answered "yes" to the second question, then you have it easier then those who answered "no".
Those who answered "no" will need to answer one very important question. Why do you feel that have parents that you can not talk to? There are probably a variety of answers that will come from answering this question.
For those who answered "yes", let's start with how you think you should bring up the situation. One of the easiest ways is to make sure that your parents have your undivided attention. No distractions such as the T.V., cell (yes this means absolutely no texting) or house phone, computer, and, other people. Also, try to catch your parents when they have had a moment to relax.You know the best time to approach them. Don't ask them to talk when they are walking out of the door going to work; or right when they get home from work or running errands. They could have sat in rush hour traffic for two hours and had a long day. Simply state "Dad & Mom, I know just got home from work, but when you have a second I would like to talk to you." Or, "After dinner could we sit down and talk for a moment, I have some things I need to talk about." Their first instinct and question for you will be, "Is everything ok?" When addressing your parents give good eye contact. This shows that you are serious without being disrespectful and, that you are not ashamed about what you are about to tell them. Being respectful is very important - remember they are your parents and not one of your friends.
Parents
So far I have only spoken about your actions and how you should handle yourself. Parents have a responsibility in the speaking with you too. First you as the parent should be open to talk to your children about everything. If you as the parent have a child or children that you feel that you can not talk to, then there are a lot of things there that need to be addressed. Here are some questions that you may have to ask yourself:
1. At what point did you feel you lost the ability to effectively speak to your children?
2. What is your daily schedule like? Are you working many hours for various reasons? Do you make other people or things a priority in your life other than your children?
3. Have your children been prodigal? Have been giving your children correct guidance time and time again and at this point you are tired of talking?
4. Have you made any big changes in your life without discussing it with your children? I know that this question has a fine line.
5. Are you trying to be a parent or a friend to your children? Remember they attend a school full of their friends. When they come home they need to know that you are still Dad and Mom.
Communication is vital to the growth and proper development of your children. If we want our daughters to grow into young ladies then we need to know what they think and why. As a parent who do we turn to when we don't know how to help our children? The answer to this is the Lord through prayer. You might say "Here we go again. Someone who is preaching to me about the Lord." That is absolutely correct. Having a relationship with HIM is the best thing we can do for ourselves and for our children. The Lord allowed you to have your children for a reason. Proverbs 22:6 states "Train the youth according to is way; even when he grows old, he will not swerve from it." It is a blessing that we are able to have our children. It is our job to show HIM that we appreciate that blessing by guiding and directing our children properly. It 's not always easy and it takes time. Kids go through changes and attitude adjustments and what ever life throws their way. Here is the best picture I can paint for you. Imagine a baseball game. The pitcher on the mound is called life. He has the ball and is throwing fast balls, curve balls and whatever other balls he can throw at whatever speed directly toward you as the parent and at your children. The batter is your children. They are always up to bat. Waiting for those balls to be thrown, not knowing what those balls will be. Parents we are the catcher. We are right there behind them catching whatever life throws at them. That is our job no matter how old our children get. The referee standing right next us the entire time, is the Lord. HE is there to see it all. And he will always make the proper call (or judgment; good or bad). Pray with your children and encourage them to pray. They may not want to at first, but the more you pray the more they will pray. Your children will do what they see you do. That is why it is extremely important how you act and the things you say.
Getting back to the main idea
Young ladies I haven't forgotten about you. I just wanted to shed some light of some of the things your parents should be doing that will help you to communicate with them and for them to communicate with you. You should also have a prayer life. The Lord will show you anything you need to see. Remember HE is all knowing and you were created in HIS image. HE knows what you need.
Hopefully this gives you a good foundation of where to start. This maybe easier said then done. Your parents love you and want the best for you.
"Wait.....I know what you need."
Waiting is one of the hardest things for anyone to do. How do yo know when to pursue what you are waiting for? The definition of wait according to dictionary.com: "is to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens; (of things) to be available or in readiness." Most of the time we get so impatient that we think "if i just...." then we are helping. Usually that back fires, big time. This means you are do to nothing - no actions are required at this point. Then what do you do while you wait? Turn your attention to something that you need focus on. Most of the time the LORD has us waiting on one thing so that you we can focus on the one thing HE wants us to pay attention to at that time. As scripture states "HE knows the desires of your heart" . Don't worry about getting married, or that guy you really want to get to know, or the new job, house, car etc. Having those things are really exciting and take a lot of work to get, but maybe thats not what you are to have right now. The Lord could be showing and telling you "I know that you would like to get married, but first I need for you to focus on......" That new car (or new to you) is the car you have always wanted and is a really great price, low miles, great financing options, has all the bells and whistles; as amazing as this all sounds -it's not for you. Besides you already have a car that is running fine. It may be older with high miles, but the maintenance is not breaking the bank. With HIM everything has an appointed time - even buying a car. There maybe a better deal out there which is why he is having you wait. The nice young man that you have eyes for - maynot be the best fit for you. HE sees your heart and the heart of that man. What if you have an unexpected expense that comes up? Right now you don't know about but HE does. Waiting is hard when you focus on it. What does HE want you focus on? What are areas of your life that you have let go of? Not intentionally, but in your mind you tell yourself "I'll get to it later." Those are areas that HE wants to you to take the time to work on. The more you take time to seek HIM out, the more things in your life will change. You will notice that you may have a little more patience or that certain people don't frustrate you they way they used to. When you go to work time goes by easier. One day as your going along you meet someone or you find a phenomenal car deal, it could be anything. That means that it is time for those things. HE has allowed you to know receive one (maybe more than one) of the desires of your heart. Everything will fall into to place. We have to remember that HE has all the time in the world. HE wants us to wait because HE knows what we need. Be patient and wait on HIM - the outcome will definitely exceed your expectations.
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