Boy is it hard being a young lady (or a young person in general) in today's society. There are so many different things coming at you from all areas. Your parents, friends, teachers, T.V., etc. Who is right? Most people would say listen to your parents. But what if your parents are doing things or acting in a way that is completely inappropriate? Then who do you turn to? Young women are supposed to learn how to act like a lady from their mother. Don't get me wrong, their fathers have just as much of a strong presence in their life too, but what they learn from their fathers is different. This message today is geared to the beginners of woman hood; ages 12-18. First things first - you have to talk to your parents. I know at this age your parents couldn't possibly know or understand you. Trust me, they do. Remember they were you age once. Maybe they grew up in another town or faced different situations, but they still viewed what ever their situation was (at that time) the same way you view your situation now. There was still peer pressure in their day - that hasn't changed. I will say that young people now days are faced with more challenges than in past generations.
Talikng with your Parents
How do you talk with your parents openly? Do you have parents that you can be open with? If your answer is "no" to the second question then, there are alot of things that need to happen so that both sides can effectively communicate. If you answered "yes" to the second question, then you have it easier then those who answered "no".
Those who answered "no" will need to answer one very important question. Why do you feel that have parents that you can not talk to? There are probably a variety of answers that will come from answering this question.
For those who answered "yes", let's start with how you think you should bring up the situation. One of the easiest ways is to make sure that your parents have your undivided attention. No distractions such as the T.V., cell (yes this means absolutely no texting) or house phone, computer, and, other people. Also, try to catch your parents when they have had a moment to relax.You know the best time to approach them. Don't ask them to talk when they are walking out of the door going to work; or right when they get home from work or running errands. They could have sat in rush hour traffic for two hours and had a long day. Simply state "Dad & Mom, I know just got home from work, but when you have a second I would like to talk to you." Or, "After dinner could we sit down and talk for a moment, I have some things I need to talk about." Their first instinct and question for you will be, "Is everything ok?" When addressing your parents give good eye contact. This shows that you are serious without being disrespectful and, that you are not ashamed about what you are about to tell them. Being respectful is very important - remember they are your parents and not one of your friends.
Parents
So far I have only spoken about your actions and how you should handle yourself. Parents have a responsibility in the speaking with you too. First you as the parent should be open to talk to your children about everything. If you as the parent have a child or children that you feel that you can not talk to, then there are a lot of things there that need to be addressed. Here are some questions that you may have to ask yourself:
1. At what point did you feel you lost the ability to effectively speak to your children?
2. What is your daily schedule like? Are you working many hours for various reasons? Do you make other people or things a priority in your life other than your children?
3. Have your children been prodigal? Have been giving your children correct guidance time and time again and at this point you are tired of talking?
4. Have you made any big changes in your life without discussing it with your children? I know that this question has a fine line.
5. Are you trying to be a parent or a friend to your children? Remember they attend a school full of their friends. When they come home they need to know that you are still Dad and Mom.
Communication is vital to the growth and proper development of your children. If we want our daughters to grow into young ladies then we need to know what they think and why. As a parent who do we turn to when we don't know how to help our children? The answer to this is the Lord through prayer. You might say "Here we go again. Someone who is preaching to me about the Lord." That is absolutely correct. Having a relationship with HIM is the best thing we can do for ourselves and for our children. The Lord allowed you to have your children for a reason. Proverbs 22:6 states "Train the youth according to is way; even when he grows old, he will not swerve from it." It is a blessing that we are able to have our children. It is our job to show HIM that we appreciate that blessing by guiding and directing our children properly. It 's not always easy and it takes time. Kids go through changes and attitude adjustments and what ever life throws their way. Here is the best picture I can paint for you. Imagine a baseball game. The pitcher on the mound is called life. He has the ball and is throwing fast balls, curve balls and whatever other balls he can throw at whatever speed directly toward you as the parent and at your children. The batter is your children. They are always up to bat. Waiting for those balls to be thrown, not knowing what those balls will be. Parents we are the catcher. We are right there behind them catching whatever life throws at them. That is our job no matter how old our children get. The referee standing right next us the entire time, is the Lord. HE is there to see it all. And he will always make the proper call (or judgment; good or bad). Pray with your children and encourage them to pray. They may not want to at first, but the more you pray the more they will pray. Your children will do what they see you do. That is why it is extremely important how you act and the things you say.
Getting back to the main idea
Young ladies I haven't forgotten about you. I just wanted to shed some light of some of the things your parents should be doing that will help you to communicate with them and for them to communicate with you. You should also have a prayer life. The Lord will show you anything you need to see. Remember HE is all knowing and you were created in HIS image. HE knows what you need.
Hopefully this gives you a good foundation of where to start. This maybe easier said then done. Your parents love you and want the best for you.
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